Sunday, 20 May 2012

Courage

A favourite quote of mine states that, "Courage doesn't always roar; sometimes courage is the small voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow'." (Mary Ann Radmacher).

This touches me deeply because it is so understated. Courage is often perceived as an active process, by which people act heroically in unimaginable circumstances, rushing through flames, or leaping from great heights without a second thought for personal safety.

My own personal variety of courage is always mingled with fear, and often with a sense that I would rather like to avoid any unpleasantness if at all possible.

Of course, living with the sort of illness that I have doesn't leave much room for the avoidance of pain or unpleasantness. Privacy, dignity and painlessness have all long been left by the wayside, along with vanity and the ability to plan for my future. I am learning, slowly and with the minimum of grace and courage, to breathe through the pain, to accept 'right' over 'pleasant' when necessary, and to appreciate the many, many things that make life wonderful despite the setbacks.

Courage stems from a belief that life is better than the alternative. Would I prefer not to spend time in hospital with the naked ladies who want to share my bed? Would I rather not have to be fed through a tube or have a large IV line in my neck for medications and fluids? Would I like to sleep through the times when my (many) medications are due, or rush out of the house for an adventure without packing any of the important medical kit?

Of course I'd like things to be easy, but focusing on the things I'd like to avoid means overlooking the many wonderful things that I still get to experience. The reason that I end each day quietly determined to try again tomorrow is because it's worth it.


1 comment:

  1. Good Morning Jo!
    I am having my coffee with you this morning and smiling. I smiled and nodded as I read your post. You see a bigger picture than most people do. I am so pleased that our paths have crossed. (Thank you, Ryan!*) I am happy for myself that you, such a beautiful and courageous woman, are part of my life. You inspire me and many others every day.

    I and happy that you are able to see the wonder in every day despite all you deal with on a minute to minute basis.

    We DO get to experience wonderful things every day. Some days we just need to look a little harder for them! ;-)

    I so love your way with words and especially the thoughts and insights behind them, Jo. I have shared several of your CB posts with friends in the past. Bill shared this post on FB. It touched him.

    I am taking today off of work. I have NO appointments so I don't have to leave the house! I can dig into a project or two that have been hanging fire...and have coffee with a dear friend from across the pond!):-)

    I am sending you and your med team loads of positive energy and wrapping you in love and light today! Hope it is a good day for you and the Lovely Richard, too!
    Love an a HUGE HUG
    Sue

    *Less than a minute after I wrote that I heard a train whistle. They are not all that common here. I always think that it is Ryan saying, "Hi" when I hear one!

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